Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Tasty Vulva Snacks

It's Love Your Vulva Month here at Buttercup so, logically, we're going to show you how to make edible vulvas (vulvae?). Now you too can eat pussy in the comfort of your own home!

For this recipe we decided to go with thumbprint cookies, but instead of a circle of jam in the center we modified the shape into a slit down the middle. Because I'm pretty much useless when it comes to working in the kitchen I enlisted the help of my fiance, Ronny, who works with baked goods for a living. I'm going to admit right now that if he hadn't been here to help me I would have given up part way through making the dough. Here's why:

I'm so awesome, I broke my dad's mixer.


There are a whole bunch of different recipes for thumbprint cookies out there and you can use whichever one you like best. I decided to go with the vegan recipe that I lifted off of Katie because it looked pretty simple, except I used regular milk and butter because that's what I had.


Thumbprint Cookies

1½ cups all-purpose flour
½ cup whole-wheat flour
½ tsp. baking powder
¼ tsp. salt
¾ cup sugar
½ cup nonhydrogenated vegan margarine
¹⁄3 cup vanilla soymilk
1 tsp. vanilla extract
¼ tsp. almond extract
1 cup seedless raspberry jam

1. Whisk together all-purpose flour, whole-wheat flour, baking powder, and salt in large bowl.
2. Beat sugar and margarine with electric mixer until light and fluffy. Gradually beat in soymilk, vanilla extract, and almond extract until combined. Beat in flour mixture until soft dough forms. Wrap dough in plastic wrap, and refrigerate 30 minutes, or overnight.
3. Preheat oven to 325°F. Line 2 baking sheets with parchment paper, or spray with cooking spray. Roll dough into 1ı/2-inch balls, and place dough balls 1 inch apart on prepared baking sheets. Press indentation in center of each ball with thumb.
4. Place jam in resealable plastic bag, close, and snip bottom corner with scissors. Squeeze jam into indentations in cookies. Bake 12 to 15 minutes, or until cookies are light brown. Transfer to wire rack with spatula, and cool.





Ronny and I might have had our proportions off a little as we ended up only making 1 sheet of 12 cookies and then using the rest of the leftover dough for a side project. We also probably should have flattened out the cookies a little bit because instead of taking the expected 12 to 15 minutes to bake it took about 20 minutes. Then again, we might not have actually needed to leave the cookies in to bake for quite that long. The insides of the cookies were nice and soft, almost kind of the texture of a scone or biscuit, but the outsides were just a tiny bit hard.




Once the cookies were out of the oven we carefully applied the cinnamon heart clits before the jam cooled so they'd stick. We let the cookies cool and moved them to a plate and, much to my amusement, the jam that had leaked over the edge of some of the cookies had cooled into place. I think it looks appropriate!

I think this is just one way to accomplish edible vulvas. If you had to get creative, how would you choose to make them?

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